During the year I have multiple conversations with my colleagues about awarding youth who participate in our 4-H competitions. During these conversations I often find myself asking the same question to some event organizers, “why are you giving everyone a blue ribbon, medal, or trophy?”

The typical response is some variation of, “every child is a winner, we don’t want one child to feel like they are not as good as another, we should be building them up, not breaking them down.”

I know as parents, we think our children are amazing at what they do, but the question remains; Are we doing our children justice if we always give them first place, is that realistic and what is that teaching them? When they interview for a job and do not get it because they were not the “best” fit or are overlooked for a promotion because someone did the job better, how will they handle it?

Healthy competition is important to the development of a child both personally and socially. Let me explain why, competitions are not meant to be easy for participants, they are meant to challenge their knowledge and skill level. Meaning participants need to learn and practice in order to succeed in a competition.

After decades of research, Carol Dweck, a world-renowned Stanford University psychologist discovered a simple but groundbreaking theory called, the power of mindset which can be applied here.

Her research shows how success in school, work, sports, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset—those who believe that abilities are fixed—are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset—those who believe that abilities can be developed.

How do we influence the development of a fixed mindset? We give trophies to every participant despite their level of ability and effort. One of the primary reasons young people with a fixed mindset are less likely to flourish is due to their fear of failure later in life (e.g., college) when they realize they may not be the best at everything.

I know some reading this article may say, but what is good for one child is not always good for another. I agree and that’s why I think, regardless of trophies, that giving feedback, coaching, and recognizing true achievements will help young people develop skills that will empower them as adults.

As a youth development professional, I have the awesome responsibility of helping young people develop the skills they will need for real world situations. That would include winning and losing. I let my 4-H members know that they cannot always be the best, but they can always do their best and learn from their experiences. This approach helps instill a grow mindset.

So, the answer to my initial question is NO – not all participants should receive a blue ribbon or trophy.

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If you are interested in learning more about this theory I encourage you Google Carol Dweck’s TedTalk on Mindset or contact Stephanie Conner at 904-284-6355.