Simple questions and confusion from a simple mind


I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll say it again: I’m a simple person.
And while I don’t duck every time I drive by a “Low Flying Planes” sign at the airport, I confess I have neither the interest nor the attention span to waste time on nonsense.
I’ve never watched an episode of “Games of Thrones;” I put my hat over my heart every time they play the National Anthem; and, I don’t get social justice advice from LeBron James on Twitter.
But that’s not all I don’t understand, like:
• Why People magazine bypassed me – again – and went with Paul Rudd as the Sexiest Man Alive.” Maybe they don’t realize I’m still alive.
• Why are the trials and tribulations of Odell Beckham are so important to our social consciousness? He didn’t like playing for the New York Giants, which reported called him a “pain in the [backside], so they traded him to Cleveland. In less than three seasons, the Browns cut their losses by placing him on waivers after he complained quarterback Baker Mayfield didn’t throw him the ball enough. The team eventually released him after deciding the All-Pro receiver wasn’t worth the trouble, prompting James to send out tweets “WR1#FreeOBJ.” Despite his baggage, he was signed last week by the Los Angeles Rams, where he responded with two catches for 18 yards in his debut during a 31-10 beatdown by the San Francisco 49ers.
• Why some of the people who call or send story ideas to a newspaper, then call to see if the story ran. I guess taking the time to read the newspaper to see is asking much.
• Cryptocurrency.
• Ben Simmons demanded to be traded during the offseason by the Philadelphia 76ers. The team didn’t trade him and now he said he’s suffering from mental health issues and won’t play until he feels better. Wonder if a trade would improve his emotional outlook.
• Joe Montana won four Super Bowls, was the Super Bowl MVP three times and was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2000. Now he’s a pitchman for one of the annoying Medicare Supplement Plans, which makes me wonder if he really needs a free ride to his doctor appointments?
• The inventors of the blanket hoodie created a blanket with armholes and a hood. A blanket without holes is just fine for me.
• Guacamole looks too much like the last time I sneezed. I’d rather eat salsa.
• The Kardashians.

• I don’t understand why the U.S. Polo Association doesn’t allow left-handed players. Where is the outrage? Where is Alyssa Milano, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Debra Messing, Joy Behar and Alec Baldwin when you need them?
• I couldn’t help but wonder why the keyboard had braille numbering at my bank’s drive-up ATM machine.
• Seatbelts on airplanes.
• I passed a man riding his motorcycle down Blanding Boulevard recently. He was wearing a mask, but no helmet. Some things you can’t make up.
• Fruitcakes.
• I don’t understand why the Charlotte Motor Speedway is in Concord, North Carolina and the Atlanta Motor Speedway is in Hampton, Georgia; why the San Francisco 49ers play 45 miles away in Santa Clara or the New York Jets and Giants both play in New Jersey, not New York; or, why the sign “Welcome to the Gateway to South Georgia” facing northbound traffic on Interstate 75 in Cordele, Georgia, is 102 miles into the state.
• Finally, why don’t they play music on MTV anymore?


No comments on this item Please log in to comment by clicking here