Ketchup and hot dogs: Things that make me say ‘hmmm’

Don Coble

By now, you should know the water may have been contaminated at Camp Lejeune between 1953 and 1987. If not, you probably haven’t paid your cable and internet bill in the last three months. I never thought I’d say I’d rather see commercials of Joe Namath hawking Medicare plans or Flo pushing car insurance.

But those aren’t the only things that make me shake my head. Every time I drive on Blanding Boulevard in Middleburg, I wonder how many more years will it take to finish three miles of construction. Actually, it’s amazing they’ve got as much work completed since most of the time, I see workers looking at their cellphones instead of shoveling dirt.

Those are just a couple of the things that make me say “hmmm.” And while I’m at it, here are some more:

• People who only put ketchup on a hot dog. That’s wrong on so many levels.

• How former Orlando Police Chief Val Demmings only has the endorsement of nine of 67 county sheriffs. Maybe the other 58 know something we don’t.

• Why one gas station between Green Cove Springs and Fleming Island – let’s say the name rhymes with “Pacemack” – was selling gas for 32 cents more than any other station in the county last weekend? Better yet, why were people buying their gas there – and eating convenience store hot dogs with ketchup?

• Why nobody will stop in a parking lot and let you back out of a space. Am I the only one who has trouble seeing left and right when I’m between a big pickup truck and SUV?

• Vegans.

• Did you know somebody donated several boxes of condoms at the Clay County Fairgrounds for hurricane relief?

• Why didn’t the Florida Department of Transportation make the new Shands Bridge for the First Coast Expressway an early priority? FDOT said the bridge will take seven years to complete. While the roadway will be completed, it won’t be fully functional until 2029 – later if they use the same workers on Blanding Boulevard.

• NFL’s roughing the passer penalties. Grady Jarrett of Atlanta got flagged for sacking Tom Brady on Sunday, then game officials took their stupidity a step further by hitting Chris Jones with the same bad call against Derek Carr on Monday night. Referee Carl Cheffers said he threw the flag because Jones landed on Carr. I thought they were playing tackle football.

• Anyone who watches “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette.”

• The Administration saying the border is secure when the number of crossings – both known and got-aways – is approaching three million this year.

• Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp dropping gas tax until after the election is completed. I’m sure there weren’t any political ramifications considered.

• People who like to go running. Don’t they have a car?

• Getting fooled again by the Jacksonville Jaguars. They were so difficult to watch in the last two weeks, I flipped to the Cornhole Championship on another channel. Judging by their 13-6 loss to winless Texas, I chose wisely.

• Why is Jacksonville’s game in England on Oct. 30 against Denver considered a home game for the Jaguars? I guess the franchise is trying to disappoint two local fanbases at the same time.

• I don’t know why all toilet seats aren’t equipped with the slow release that allows them to slowly recline. It’s something you need to remember when you’re in public because regular seats sure make a loud noise when they hit. My apologies to everyone at “Pacemack.”

Maybe I’m too simple-minded. Or maybe I overthink things. Regardless, nobody should eat a hot dog with just ketchup.